April kicked my butt. It sent me home with a black eye and some knocked out teeth. The month ended with me exhausted in a heap on the floor. To say it was the worst month of my life is not hyperbole. It was literally the worst month of my life.
I still haven't brought myself to talk about here, but this is why it was such a terrible month for me. My heart won't let me type the words out in blog form. I'm just not ready.
By the end of the month I had canceled all of my obligations for April and many of them for May. I needed to focus on my family, myself and my healing. I needed some space and some sleep. I still have way too much on my plate for June, but after that I am making the word no my best friend. I just can't take on anything else in my life outside of my home. I am just done.
And that's okay. It shouldn't have taken a loss or a tragedy for me to come to this conclusion, that it's okay for me to say no to some things, to not say yes to every request, opportunity or obligation shoved at me.
Last week I read that the CDC has declared a lack of sleep among Americans as a health crisis. As a nation we are literally putting our health at risk because we are too busy to sleep. That's crazy business.
I don't know about you, but I have felt the pressure to be busy, to stay busy and to claim business like I was somehow lazy or less motivated because I chose rest for myself over the content pursuit of business. I bought into it hook line and sinker. And I filled my time with a lot of things that haven't really mattered in the long run. I'm just over it.
Busyness is not a competition, and it certainly isn't one any of us are winning.
It's okay to say no. And it's okay to sometimes choose an easier option because you're exhausted. You don't have to be in the constant pursuit of perfection. DO you know why? Because you're already enough.
You're enough in your mom jeans or your yoga pants. You're also enough in your red lipstick and high heels if that's what you love. You're enough.
A couple weeks ago I read this post from Kristen Welch at We Are That Family and it really stuck with me. I highly recommend you read the post. In it she tells this great story about being rushed for time and space and energy and how a pack of premade cookie dough made her feel like a total failure. It's an awesome read and I won't tell you anymore about it because I just want you to read it.
So this is my plan for May. I am going to say no a little bit more. Because what is the worst that will happen if I don't agree to all of the things I am asked to do outside of my home? It either won't get done, or someone else will have to do it.
Look at your calendar this upcoming month and say no to some things. Life will go on without you saying yes to everything and everyone.
Let's all make a pact to make May the month we stop making ourselves feel like crap because we choose rest for ourselves. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Relax. It's okay. You're enough.
What about you? Are you going to say no to more? Leave a comment below.