3 tips for getting out the door faster (with small children)

Remember that time I lost my keys and found them in the ignition of my car?? Yeah. It happened. I would like to say I have things a little bit more together now. Slightly. Ever so slightly. And really, that's subject to change. 

But I've developed a few good routines for not losing my keys, or my kids, or my mind.

Today, I wanted to share with you some tips on getting yourself and your kids out the door on time -- not early -- but on time. I have three kids now and, of course, that has done nothing to simplify my life.

I asked you guys for suggestions -- and boy! did you deliver. So I have implemented some of those into my life and I'm going to share with you what has worked.

1. Preplan the night before! 

One of the things that I have started doing is getting everything I possibly can ready the night before. That includes getting the boys' clothes laid out.

So what I'll do is I'll take everything that they're going to be wearing -- pants, shirts, shorts, underwear, socks, whatever and I put them in plastic dishpans I picked up at Walmart.

When they get up in the morning they take care of their bathroom needs and get dressed. There is no mystery because things are already laid out for them. (Or sometimes they pick out their own clothes. I don't make a fuss about it.)

Also, get that diaper bag packed! 

2. Get yourself dressed! 

It's hard because I have a baby that keeps me up at night. I would like to just lay in for a few more minutes, but I just get up and really quickly throw on my mom uniform. You guys know what I mean, right? You know, leggings and a really flowy top and a cute pair of flats, and call it a day. Right?

3. Set a timer

Someone suggested on Facebook using the timer on my phone to set little reminders for my boys. I didn't think it was going to work but it did.

I told them, "you have five minutes to get your shoes on and get in the car." They were running as fast as their little legs would carry them to beat the clock like it was this really fun game we were playing.
 
I feel like preparation is half the battle. And if I have a few things ready to go the night before or ready to go in my car, then I feel a little less frantic. I also have taken to packing an emergency bag of clothes in my car. Of course, the baby needs clothes and the toddler needs clothes. But accidents always happen, so I have made sure to pack an extra pair of pants, socks, shoes and underwear and keep them in the back of my car amidst the bicycle helmets. That way if an emergency happens, we're prepared. It's nice to be prepared and not be that mom at the park dragging a wet child home. I've been there, done that.
 
Another thing that I've started doing is packing our lunches the night before. Of course, it's more economical for us to take our lunches where we need to go. I got little plastic containers from the Dollar Store and I put everything in there that the boys are going to need. And then, they throw the lunch in their lunch bag. And we're ready to go.
 
I also keep healthy snacks, fruits on counter-level and my five-year old can grab one and give one to his little brother. And then, I've got some other snacks like granola bars, dried fruit, fish crackers in a container where they can grab it if we're going somewhere in the afternoon or between meals.
 
And, of course, a little bribery always works -- although we call it "reward system." And the reward system that worked for us was whoever is dressed the fastest gets to choose the music we listen to on the way to wherever we're going. It's Moana; it's always Moana -- all the time. So much Moana.
 
I would love to hear how you guys get out the door on time with kids.
 

Tips for photographing toddlers (and small children)

I am pretty sure I have photographed my children every day since they were born. Well, almost every day. 

If your child is anything like mine they are constantly in motion. I have lots of blurry photos, lots of pictures of the back of my child's head and lots of pictures of him crying because I made him sit still. 

And while I am NOT a professional photographer and have no desire to photograph anyone other than my family I have picked up a few tricks for photographing a toddler or young child.  

1. Get on your child's level. 

My friend, Candi, owns her own studio. She has taken a lot of our family photos and I have seen her flat out lay down on the ground to snap a photo. 

So one thing I have learned is to get low to the ground, on my child's level. That way when he is climbing a tree or about to slide down his slide I am at the ready to snap a great photo. 

2. Be an observer. 

Sometimes my boys just starts playing so I start snapping. At it makes for the best memories. I will always remember the day he played with the empty box for a whole hour and I have about 45 photos of him climbing in and out of that box. 

3. Don't photograph a tired child (or do)

The photo above was taken at Easter. This photo is a disaster for many reasons (although I still love it) I am HUGLEY pregnant, and Ryals was so tired he just didn't want to have his picture taken. Trying to get him to be still was like torture for a little guy.

4. Give them something to look at. 

If I am intentionally photographing Ry I will try to give him things to look at. Him looking directly at the camera is cute, but it's not very realistic. I might point to a bird, a tractor, an airplane or an animal and have him focus his attention there for a second while I snap his photo. 

5. Take more photos than you think you need. 

This was actually a bit of advice given to me during my days as a news reporter. Take more photos than you think you need. You will get back home and plug in your SD card and realize your photos are blurry, or you missed the shot you wanted. 

So just keep snapping away. 

6. Remember they're not models. 

I have so many pictures of my child with a dirty face, stained clothes, mud on his fingers. But that is life. I love the photos of him when he is active and silly and not posed and just being Ry. He isn't a model. He is a real child and we have captured a lot of real moments that are precious. 

How to be less busy: 5 tips to reclaiming your time and getting your life back

Do you ever feel like you’re long on to do and short on time? I have spent so many months, years even, feeling that way. It wasn’t until recently that I came to fully understand the amount of control I actually did have over my time and how I spent it.

In fact, it seems like that is one of the things that I do have near-complete control over. Sure, I have small children and a husband, a business, and obligations. There is a mortgage and tummies that need to be fed, diapers that need to be changed. I get all of that.

But here is the thing, how much time do I spend perusing Facebook during an afternoon lull? How many times have I let a phone call yammer on when I could have been more precise and to the point? And how many hours have I wasted binge watching Netflix?

I don’t even want to consider tallying the hours. Of course, there is nothing wrong with doing any of those things. But I can’t very well call myself “busy” if that is how I choose to spend my precious time. Because time is just that… precious.

We can’t earn more of it, once it’s gone, it’s gone. So I have had to learn how to command the most out of my days. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been worth it.

How to be less busy:

1. Determine what matters

It’s really important to determine what fulfills you and then plan your days around that. 

What are your priorities? It is important to figure out what your true priorities are. These are the places we seem willing to invest the most of our time and energy. If you took a good luck at how I spent my time you might see that housework was low on my list, and watching YouTube videos of people putting on makeup was high on my list.

But that’s not an accurate representation of what matters to me, so I’ve had to adjust my time accordingly. Of course, I just figured out I could stream YouTube through my television, so I just watch those videos while I clean. ;)

Things that do matter are family time. I often say not to weekend events because I want us to spend time together as a family while my husband is home. It means less social time but more family time.

2. What provides value

Recently I had gotten sucked into a group chat on Facebook. A community function that I am a part of was using the group chat as a way to send out information. The problem was the information was getting lost in responses, thumbs up and emojis of cats eating pizza. It was both a distraction and a waste of time. And above all, it wasn’t providing a value to the group. Everyone had to sort through the responses to get to the meat of the information and there were several miscommunications as a result.

I left the group chat and suggested instead the information just be sent in a quick bullet point email. I realize that may sound abrupt on my part, but when you’re juggling a home, small children, and a business sometimes you have to be direct.

I also left several Facebook group pages that were taking up way more time than necessary and turned I down a few work opportunities because they just didn’t provide good value for my time.

3. Prioritize your to do

When I make a to-do list I like to jot down the things on my list in order of importance. I take care of the important items first. That way they are out of the way and not hanging over my head. I can better focus my time, energy and attention this way.

4. Don’t check your email

I know this sounds counter-productive. But unless you are waiting on a very specific and important email just don’t check it until you’ve made it through your to-do list.

It’s so easy to get distracted if you jump on Gmail really quickly or your hop on Google News to scan the headlines. You can so easily get sucked into the rabbit hole that is the internet that you don’t get things done that you set out to accomplish.

5. Remove one thing

Okay, pull out your planner or your calendar app and look at your upcoming appointments? What is not necessary? What is not providing value to you? What do you dread doing? 

Don’t do it. Just cancel your appointment and say no. If it’s not vital to your survival or to your family don’t do it. 
I feel like in today’s society we value being busy. We glorify it and wear it like a badge of honor. And we misuse the word. I know that for me I am often not busy, I am just distracted and it’s important for me to refocus my time and energy.

What about you? How do you become less busy? 

Three things every mom needs

Today I am thrilled to have a guest post from Emily at Queen of the Household. 

For the last two years I've been a mom to a little boy. It has been hands-down the hardest job I've ever had, but it has also been the best job I could ever have. Motherhood is full of highs and lows, and as I talk to other moms, there seems to be common needs that we all have.

1. A Break

Moms give their time, energy, and love constantly, and it is easy to get burned out. That's why it is so important to take a break and plan time for yourself.

When my son was a baby and took his naps, instead of sitting down to rest, I would clean or work on a project. It wore me out! I said something about it to my husband whose response was, "No one is telling you to do that." He was right. I was putting the pressure on myself! That is when I started deliberately setting time aside to do something for myself each day. 

Taking breaks doesn't mean you have to have a babysitter or spend money. In fact you can plan breaks at home throughout the day.

• Plan to have a little treat when your child takes a nap or has afternoon quiet time.
• Create a comfortable corner in your home to enjoy a good book or catch up on blogs.
• If possible, get up 10-15 minutes earlier than your kids and have some quiet time.
• Give your children something to entertain themselves even if just for a few minutes. My 2 year old loves "new" objects to explore. Sometimes I'll give him an empty box or a few random (and safe) objects to play with, and he stays entertained for a while.
• Go outside and let your children play while you sit on the porch and drink a cup of coffee.
• Give them a snack and let them watch a show or movie while you make a wreath or do some creative project.

2. Some Grace

Social media and the online world are great tools for building relationships and sharing encouragement, but they also create a tendency to compare ourselves with others. I used to beat myself up when I would read blog posts about moms who save a ton of money at the grocery store, do yoga with their kids, or throw beautiful birthday parties.

But I finally decided to start changing my mindset and give myself grace. Now, I acknowledge the accomplishment in the other mom without comparing myself to her. When I see a mom online who does yoga every morning, I say, "Good for her!" and move on. If I find myself comparing, I think about the healthy choices that I make and commit to continuing those habits.

This way I'm giving myself grace and kindness. Instead of beating myself up over what I'm not. I shared a little about that when I talked about being the perfect mom. I also loved when Lydia shared about not feeling guilty for not liking to play. It is important to remember all of the things that we do with our kids instead of focusing on all of the things that we don't do.

3. A Little Understanding

One of the best things a mom can give to another mom is a nodding of the head and saying "I Feel You!" Isn't it great to know that you aren't the only one who struggles with nursing or can't stand hearing "The Wheels on the Bus" on repeat all day?! 

Shortly after I had my son, I confided in a friend that I was SO tired from getting up multiple times during the night. My friend's unsympathetic response was, "Oh, just wait until he's a toddler. Then you'll be really tired." My heart sank. All I wanted was a little understanding. 

Right then I decided that I would never tell another mom, " Oh just wait..." If you have a mom friend who is going through something difficult sometimes all they need is a head nod and some understanding.

Find a way to give yourself a break today, show yourself some grace, and give understanding to the other moms in your life!

Emily is a blogger and mom who lives in Florida. You can catch up with her on her blog Queen of the Household as well as on Facebook and Pinterest. 

How I stopped feeling like a bad mom

Can I confess something to you? I don't always enjoy playing with my kids. 

When my sons, age four and two, come to me and say, "Mama, come play with us!" I don't always feel an immediate rush of joy as I join them on the floor for Legos. 

In full honesty, I get a little tired of making the same dinosaur noises over and over and over again. I look at the clock thinking hours have passed... it's been 15 minutes. 

I love watching them play. I love hearing them laugh. And I am willing to tell them the same joke again and again so I can hear their peals of laughter

But for a long time, I felt a real sense of guilt over the fact I didn't just love play time. It's something I did and continue to do, but it's not my favorite part of the day. 

I confessed this to my mom, that I didn't enjoy playing Legos or trains with my kids. Her response was... are you ready for this... "So?"

That was it. That was her response. So? My mom is awesome. My mother was fun and attentive and she worked hard to make things special for my sister and me. But when I thought about it I don't really ever remember my mom sitting on the floor and playing with me. 

I remembered her reading to us, snuggling on the couch to watch movies, teaching me to play checkers or card games. I remember her helping me learn to read and do equations. I remember her teaching me to cook basic meals and helping me learn to roller skate. 

Looking back on my childhood I don't feel a sense of longing for missed playtime with my mom. I had a sister and I played with her. 

I also don't feel a sense of missed quality time with my mom because that time was there. My mother did so much for us and with us and my mental scrapbook is spilling over with memories of her dancing with us in the living room and dressing us up in ridiculous costumes because we thought it was fun. 

I decided to stop focusing on what I thought was my failure in motherhood (it's not a failure at all!) and start focusing on the areas where I was pouring time into my children. 

So I started keeping a to-do list in reverse. Every time I did something with my kids I wrote it in my day planner. 

I realized I was doing so much more with my kids than even I realized. I would look back at the end of the day or after a long week and see all of the things I did with my boys. We pick blackberries, I put music on my phone and we danced in the field next to our house. We read book after book after book. We baked. We went for walks. And we all loved these things. 

I am not telling you this to toot my own horn or to shout "hey look what a fantastic mom I am!" I am telling you this to maybe bring some encouragement to you in your own motherhood journey. 

There may be areas of your life with kids you don't absolutely love and maybe you do them anyway, maybe you don't. That's fine. Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't drive by the neighbors house and see another mother chasing her kids through the yard and feel bad about yourself. There may be things you love to do with your kids that she tolerates with a quiet smile. 

What about you? Are there areas of motherhood you feel guilty about not enjoying? 

How to be less busy

Do you ever feel like you’re long on to do and short on time? I have spent so many months, years even, feeling that way. It wasn’t until recently that I came to fully understand the amount of control I actually did have over my time and how I spent it.

In fact, it seems like that is one of the things that I do have near-complete control over. Sure, I have small children and a husband, a business, and obligations. There is a mortgage and tummies that need to be fed, diapers that need to be changed. I get all of that.

But here is the thing, how much time do I spend perusing Facebook during an afternoon lull? How many times have I let a phone call yammer on when I could have been more precise and to the point? And how many hours have I wasted binge watching Netflix?

I don’t even want to consider tallying the hours. Of course, there is nothing wrong with doing any of those things. But I can’t very well call myself “busy” if that is how I choose to spend my precious time. Because time is just that… precious.

We can’t earn more of it, once it’s gone, it’s gone. So I have had to learn how to command the most out of my days. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been worth it.

How to be less busy:

1. Determine what matters

It’s really important to determine what fulfills you and then plan your days around that. 

What are your priorities? It is important to figure out what your true priorities are. These are the places we seem willing to invest the most of our time and energy. If you took a good luck at how I spent my time you might see that housework was low on my list, and watching YouTube videos of people putting on makeup was high on my list.

But that’s not an accurate representation of what matters to me, so I’ve had to adjust my time accordingly. Of course, I just figured out I could stream YouTube through my television, so I just watch those videos while I clean. ;)

Things that do matter are family time. I often say not to weekend events because I want us to spend time together as a family while my husband is home. It means less social time but more family time.

2. What provides value

Recently I had gotten sucked into a group chat on Facebook. A community function that I am a part of was using the group chat as a way to send out information. The problem was the information was getting lost in responses, thumbs up and emojis of cats eating pizza. It was both a distraction and a waste of time. And above all, it wasn’t providing a value to the group. Everyone had to sort through the responses to get to the meat of the information and there were several miscommunications as a result.

I left the group chat and suggested instead the information just be sent in a quick bullet point email. I realize that may sound abrupt on my part, but when you’re juggling a home, small children, and a business sometimes you have to be direct.

I also left several Facebook group pages that were taking up way more time than necessary and turned I down a few work opportunities because they just didn’t provide good value for my time.

3. Prioritize your to do

When I make a to-do list I like to jot down the things on my list in order of importance. I take care of the important items first. That way they are out of the way and not hanging over my head. I can better focus my time, energy and attention this way.

4. Don’t check your email

I know this sounds counter-productive. But unless you are waiting on a very specific and important email just don’t check it until you’ve made it through your to-do list.

It’s so easy to get distracted if you jump on Gmail really quickly or your hop on Google News to scan the headlines. You can so easily get sucked into the rabbit hole that is the internet that you don’t get things done that you set out to accomplish.

5. Remove one thing

Okay, pull out your planner or your calendar app and look at your upcoming appointments? What is not necessary? What is not providing value to you? What do you dread doing? 

Don’t do it. Just cancel your appointment and say no. If it’s not vital to your survival or to your family don’t do it. 
I feel like in today’s society we value being busy. We glorify it and wear it like a badge of honor. And we misuse the word. I know that for me I am often not busy, I am just distracted and it’s important for me to refocus my time and energy.

What about you? How do you become less busy? 

---

14 Tips for life with kids when your husband travels... a lot

Let's just call 2015 the year Jason traveled... a lot. 

When we first got married Jason traveled for work all the time. It was nothing for us to see each other as he came home and I walked out the door. 

Then our oldest son was born and Jason took a new job. A wonderful job. But last year his job began to require more and more travel. In our childless days, it was no big deal, not perfect and I missed him, but it was just me. 

But now I have two little boys who thrive on a routine and are crazy about their daddy. So there were times last year that were just rough. Guys, I cannot fathom what it would be like to have to parent alone all day every day. I just can’t fathom how hard that would be. So if you’re parenting alone, believe me, you have been in my prayers. 

Also, I am very grateful for my husband's job because it allows me to be at home with my boys, so please note we are very, very thankful. And luckily the travel isn't as frequent anymore. 

However, we have had to adapt. And we've all learned a few tricks to make those traveling days easier on all of us. 

1. Develop a good night time routine 

Mornings are no problem. Jason leaves for work very early, so we are all used to Jason being gone when we all wake-up.However, afternoons and evenings require a little more work. So it's important to keep our home routine running the same way.

After naptime we have afternoon play, we read books, we feed our chickens and gather eggs. Then it's supper, bath, books and bed. We do this the same way every night whether Jason is home or not. My kids go to bed between 8 and 8:30 p.m. every night. This keeps things moving and keeps meltdowns (mine!) to a minimum. 

2. Be flexible

Jason usually travels at a moments notice. On Monday at 3 p.m. he might get a phone call telling him he will be flying out a 6 p.m. for a four-day trip. So that means weekday plans might shift. This was annoying at first because I would buy groceries for the week and make a meal plan and then I would have all these groceries and no husband to eat them. 

So  a lot of our meals go into the freezer. There is a degree of flexibility required. 

3. Eat together

We keep meals simple and healthy, but I make sure we all sit down together. My kids eat a lot of sandwiches and steamed vegetables. I am not even kidding. They will get scrambled eggs for breakfast and then a sandwich (smoked chicken or PB&J) for both lunch and dinner with a side of steamed peas or broccoli and a fruit. They also love rice and beans, I really lucked out there because it’s so easy!

So find a few meals your kids would love and don’t feel bad letting them eat that over and over. You can mix things up by giving them a variety of fruits and vegetables, but don’t feel pressure to make them a full Pinterest perfect meal every day. 

It’s not gourmet and that’s okay. Everyone is fed and happy. 

4. Find a community

It took us a while but in May, we finally found a church that felt like home. We connected with a Sunday School class and I felt comfortable telling them when Jason traveled so that they could pray for me. It didn’t take long for a few families to reach out to me and let me know it was okay to call them if I needed anything while Jason was gone. 

I urge you to reach out and find a community, whether in church or a moms group, who will minister to you and help you out. It helps you feel less lonely, but also, there is someone there if an emergency arises. 

You may even find a few moms in your same position and you can help encourage each other. 

Also, get to know your neighbors. Mine have been wonderful!

5. Don’t be afraid to go places 

For so long I was just too stressed to take my kids places while my husband was gone. We would just stay home because I knew I wouldn’t get a break that day and let’s face it, taking kids out in public can be EXHAUSTING. My sons are 4 and 2 and sometimes they can be a handful. In order to avoid stress we just didn’t leave the house. While I am a homebody, this made my house begin to feel like a jail. So I started venturing out. We go to the park, the store, the skating rink. We play with friends and take walks. We go on picnics. It’s been wonderful. 

6. Take time to relax

It’s so easy when you’re a mom to push your needs to the back burner. But it is so important to take time for yourself. Just 10 or 15 minutes to take a shower, light a candle or read a book. You can take this time to pray, talk to a friend or watch a funny YouTube video. Just remember to care for yourself. 

7. Keep your home well stocked

This is a piece of advice from a reader and it's been invaluable. Thanks to Amazon Prime I am able to do so without even having to think about diapers, toilet paper, and coffee. Make sure you have extra diapers, cleaning supplies and milk. Also, she recommended having extra school supplies.

She said, " Who wants to take 3 kids to Michaels at 8 p.m. to get poster board for a project that's due tomorrow? "  

8. Tell your children's teachers

This is also advice given to me by a reader- if your child is in school, his or her teacher might need to know that one parent is often gone. They need to know that if your kids are having trouble you're doing everything you can by yourself. 

9. Look for delivery services

Remember how I said I LOVE Amazon Prime? We end up buying a lot of our dry goods that way, that way I only have to get perishables at the grocery store. But see if there are grocery services in your area that deliver or let you order online and then offer curb service. 

10. Find a hobby or part time job from home- just something for you

Take up knitting, start a blog, open an Etsy shop. One finds something that's just for you. That's why I started doing YouTube, to connect with other moms, but also because I just missed making and editing videos, something I did for a past job. 

Who knew that would become a part of my business? 

11. Keep extra cash in the house for emergencies

Even if it's just $20 or $30 that you keep in your sock drawer. It's important to have extra cash if something arises.  

12. Spare key

Need I say more? Mom brain means at some point you will lock your keys in the house. Make sure someone you trust has a spare. 

13. Find a good handyman

If you're not handy yourself find a handyman or have a running list of plumbers and electricians. Emergencies always seem to arise when Jason leaves town. 

14. Protect family time

When Jason is home family time is family time. I try to be really protective of it when he has been traveling. I say no to functions or visitors. It may mean less of a social life but it's more family time. 

What about you? What would you add to the list? 

Learning compassion in the supermarket parking lot

Something happened in the Publix parking lot. Something that changed my heart and the heart of my three-year-old son. 

Yesterday when we were leaving the supermarket Ryals pointed to a person who was different and innocently commented on that person's differences. I was mortified.

The person didn't hear us, thankfully! But I raced Ryals to the car and explained to him that he can ALWAYS ask me any question he wants and I will ALWAYS tell him the truth, but it needs to be in private. 

I explained to him that he was not in trouble but that everyone is different, that God created all of us and He loves us and it's our job to love others, be kind and share the joy in our hearts.

I explained to him that it is not nice to point out other people's differences in a way that is hurtful and that the words he used were hurtful. 

By the time I was finished Ryals had tears in his eyes and said, "I want to tell him I'm sorry."

We did not go back inside and find the man, I told him instead to remember how sad he felt at the thought of hurting someone's feelings and not to do it again. 

I thought about my own words, the things I say in passing, the thoughts I have about others. 

I prayed out loud and asked God to forgive me for the words I use and the things I say and I prayed that Ryals would remember to be kind. 

I was grateful for this teaching moment. I was grateful that I had the words to say to my son and I was grateful that his little heart and mind understood. 

So mamas, if you think your children aren't listening, if you think your prayers aren't being heard when you ask God to direct your children or direct you in motherhood they are. 

Keep praying. Keep teaching. Keep mothering. 

What about you? Have you ever found a teaching in an unexpected place?